Transitions - Part 1 - Explanations & Mixed Emotion

Standing in a dark room, I saw nothing but a warm glowing light illuminating the room from above. I had just gotten married to the man who I love the most, but something seemed strange. The atmosphere was saturated with uneasiness and sweat. I could feel the tension radiating from within him as he watched me breathing deeply.

 I rubbed my neck and thought to myself for a moment, "What do I do now? I don't know where I am and I don't remember much since the wedding. It feels like it's been years since that day, but I know it hasn't because I am wearing my wedding dress..."

 He just stood there staring at me with a blank look on his face. I couldn't read his face, I could only tell that he was filled with uncertainty and an overwhelming feeling of fear come over me when I looked into his eyes.

 "What are you doing?" I asked him with concern in my voice.

"What do you mean?" he replied back with a question.

"You are just standing there staring at me. What's going on?" I asked. Sweat formed on my brow as I waited for his response.

"You don't remember? Oh dear... Well it's time for us to transform. Do you remember what I mean?" he asked.

"Now that you mention it, I do," I replied with a deep sigh, "But care to explain to me what's going to happen?"

 "Don't worry darling. We are going to transform together. You shall become your natural form and I shall help you reach that stage," he explained.

 "But I am scared. What if I don't want to?" I asked him.

"You don't have much choice," he told me.

"What do you mean I don't have a choice?" I said with a trembling voice.

 "This darkness, this place we're in, it's a place of divine power. We came here to transform and become what we are. Every generation, after meeting their soul mate, comes here to transition...," he continued to explain.

 "Why do we have to do this though? What's wrong with our normal selves?" I frowned.

"Sweetheart, it has to happen sooner or later. If we don't do this now, you won't be able to control your powers when you are older. We are in our second decade of life, meaning if we don't transform now, we won't be able to stay in this form because the powers within will control us," he said.

 "Do you understand?" he asked me.

"I guess... but will it be painful?" I trembled.

 "I doubt it will, my parents and your parents claim it's painless," he said with confidence.

"Completely painless?" I asked.

 "Plus, I am here! You aren't alone in this, okay?" he reassured me.

 "Come on hunny, smile! You are fine! I won't leave you, okay?" he tried to reassure me again.

"I guess...," I replied.

 "What's wrong, baby?" he asked me.

"I just can't get this feeling of fear out of my head. It's like my body is warning me or something," I tried to explain.

 "An overwhelming feeling of fear, so intense that I can't move or figure out what to say. Why do I feel this way?" I said with a frown and began to cry.

"Don't cry, please? I promise you, I won't leave your side and you shall be okay!" Flynn begged.

 "Okay, I trust you, I won't cry," I said as I wiped my eyes dry.

 He stared deeply into my aqua colored eyes and smiled. His smile was so genuine. It was strange...

I loved him so much, but since being with Damion, I had a hard time completely loving him nor did I completely trust him. I mean, he never did a single thing wrong, he was always, always there for me. I never could have asked for a better husband. I just couldn't get myself to get rid of the feelings from the past, no matter how hard I tried.

 Maybe this time with him, alone, will help me forget the things in the past. I prayed so hard that I would be able to finally be free of those rotten feelings that did me no good.

 I began to feel sad and I felt my mouth turn into a frown. I wish that I could smile once again, smile like Flynn does when he looks at me.

 Just then, Flynn rubbed his hand on my cheek. He said, "Darling, don't be sad, smile. I love you."

 His touch was so warm and comforting. I loved him so much... but how exactly did he feel about me? I couldn't ever feel his heart... it was as if he was blocking me from reading him. I could read Damion's heart, even my own parents, but not my own husband?

 "I love you too," I said with a smile as he grasped my head, gently, and pulled me toward his mouth.

 I turned my face away from him as I started to feel strange inside. I felt my stomach gurgle and a sudden rush of intense pain rushed over my chest. Flynn saw my face expression quickly change and he asked, "What's wrong? What happened?" I couldn't breathe.

 I stared into his eyes as I felt my body stiffen for a moment and my head throbbed with pain.

 My face became frozen in a strange expression and I lost track of where I was.

Suddenly my head felt like it was going to explode and everything went into a blur. I grasped my head as I screamed in pain...