Saturday, April 21, 2012

Just a Dream

The evening was quiet as it turned from night to dawn. As the darkness became lighter, I began to wake up.
I had such a strange dream that night... A dream about a woman... A dream about love...

A man and a woman, together as if they had longed to be with each other, who loved one another with passion and desire. The man searched for her for what seemed forever, but he couldn't find her.
 As I got up from my bed, in the dark of the early morning, I thought to myself, "What a dream, what a dream, but was it real? Or was it just my imagination making up stories in my head again? But it felt so realistic! There is no way that it could have been just a dream."
 "When I saw the black-haired man yelling at the young girl, I felt as if she was me and I was terrified. He was so evil and cruel. I could feel my body quaking in fear as he screamed and raised his hand."
 "And when he slapped her, I felt the stinging pain on my face as his hand bruised her face. Then he took her away from her life and locked her away."
 "I could feel her pain and sorrow as her life was thrown away and she was left to fade away."
"So what was it? Another story in my head or a reality that I did not live?"
I turned on the light and then continued to think to myself about the dream some more.
I thought about all the people she met and how she was betrayed her entire life. She tried her best to survive every painful experience that came her way. She was so lonely and abandoned. I felt so sad.
After I finally woke up and realized that it was just a dream, I decided to call my boyfriend Flynn and see what he might think of my strange dream. I felt like I hadn't talked to him in ages, but it had only been a day.
Flynn picked up the phone quickly and I had no time to think of what I was going to say.

"Hey Jovi! What's wrong? You never wake up this early for school!" Flynn said to me.
"Hey, I just wanted to talk to you," I said in a weary voice.
"Oh babe, you can always talk to me. So what's going on?" he asked with concern in his voice.
"I had a dream. It was strange...," I said with a pause, "It was about me and you, I think."
"What do you mean? What did you dream about?" he asked.
"I don't know where to start," I said with a sigh.
"Think for a moment, I know you remember it. You do have a good memory," he replied.
"We had children, a boy and a girl," I said.
 "They were twins and they were the joy of our lives. One had pink and purple hair and eyes and the other had black and orange hair and eyes. I've never would have thought this before," I said to him.

"Oh do you want children? Already?" he asked me with hesitation.
"No, no. We are still young. I just dreamed it and it doesn't mean I want kids right now," I explained.
"Oh," he said.
"Yea...," I replied.
"But there was one more thing... we had wings and cat ears and tails," I said with a laugh.
"Huh?" he said, "Okay, so what were we? Angels or flying cats?"
"No, no, we were griffins and I was some kinda dragon griffin. I don't know! It was a dream!" I exclaimed.
"Just too weird, huh?" I laughed.
"Yes, maybe you should stop sniffing sharpie markers before bed," Flynn teased me.
"FLYNN! Don't say things like that," I yelled at him.
"Sorry! I was just kidding! I want you to cheer up, okay?" he replied.
"Oh okay, I'll try. I am going to get ready for school now babe!" I said with a giggle.
"Alright, see you at school!" he said.
"Love you!" I said.
"Love you back!" he said with a slight chuckle.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Transitions - Part 2 - Strength of Love

A calming sensation over took my body as I stood still in the silence of the room. The pain that was once crawling through my body, settled down, no longer causing me to cry out in fear. Whatever had happened had passed quickly, but I felt as if something bad was going to happen next.
Flynn sat cross-legged on the cold tile floor as he meditated, hoping that I would join him in a quiet time of relaxation. He focused his inner being trying to release the power within himself.
I tucked my dress under my legs and sat down in the lotus position with my hands raised just above my knees. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. It took me all of a second to feel calm and relaxed. A sudden tingling sensation overcame me and a chill ran down my spine.
Only a moment later, I felt a draft suddenly around me and I felt my back and lower abdominal areas of my body sting and heat up for a minute before the sensations went away. I thought that I should continue to stay still and keep my eyes closed because I was so comfortable, but I started to feel strange...again...
I opened my eyes, only to discover my clothing had disappeared. I looked over at Flynn and saw he was also sitting in only his underwear. I didn't understand how that had happened, it was all too abstract for me. I  bent my knees and leaned sitting up with my elbows on my knees.

Before I could take another breath, I passed out.

Before I fell to the floor, Flynn caught me in his arms, as if he was sensing my exact movements and was standing by waiting for something to happen.

"JOVIANA!" Flynn cried out.
He grasped me close to him and began to stutter, "Jovi-jo-vi. Jovi-ana. Don't, don't die. Please don't die."

He began to sob, tears racing down his face, he continued to speak to my unconscious body, "Joviana! You must come back to me. You aren't done living yet!"

"JOVIANA!" he sobbed, "Joviana, I love you more than my own being. I haven't ever loved anyone more than you, not even my parents or the children. You are the one who owns my heart. I have devoted my entire life, from birth, to you, my soulmate. You can't give up. Without you, I am only half a soul."

Suddenly a pulsing come from within me. I woke up for only a moment as my heart raced and a shining light appeared from my breasts, I screamed in agony and fainted.
Flynn put his hands around the light that flickered a brilliant magenta spark. As he gently nestled the flashing light, a bright blue light came from within his hands and the lights combined! He smiled as he watched the purple sparking blue energy of light. Flynn knelt down closer to me and the light disappeared...
Flynn picked up my lifeless body and carefully placed my body against his as he supported my weight. He leaned into my face and passionately kissed my cold lips.

A sudden rush of warmth ran down my spine and I could feel my heart begin to throb intensely. I was alive again, by the kiss of my lover!
Flynn laid me down and I passed out...
               Dreaming of the day we first met...
A day when I thought I would forever be alone... 
A broken heart, a lost soul...
    But not ever again...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Transitions - Part 1 - Explanations & Mixed Emotion

Standing in a dark room, I saw nothing but a warm glowing light illuminating the room from above. I had just gotten married to the man who I love the most, but something seemed strange. The atmosphere was saturated with uneasiness and sweat. I could feel the tension radiating from within him as he watched me breathing deeply.
 I rubbed my neck and thought to myself for a moment, "What do I do now? I don't know where I am and I don't remember much since the wedding. It feels like it's been years since that day, but I know it hasn't because I am wearing my wedding dress..."

 He just stood there staring at me with a blank look on his face. I couldn't read his face, I could only tell that he was filled with uncertainty and an overwhelming feeling of fear come over me when I looked into his eyes.

 "What are you doing?" I asked him with concern in my voice.

"What do you mean?" he replied back with a question.

"You are just standing there staring at me. What's going on?" I asked. Sweat formed on my brow as I waited for his response.

"You don't remember? Oh dear... Well it's time for us to transform. Do you remember what I mean?" he asked.

"Now that you mention it, I do," I replied with a deep sigh, "But care to explain to me what's going to happen?"
 "Don't worry darling. We are going to transform together. You shall become your natural form and I shall help you reach that stage," he explained.
 "But I am scared. What if I don't want to?" I asked him.

"You don't have much choice," he told me.

"What do you mean I don't have a choice?" I said with a trembling voice.
 "This darkness, this place we're in, it's a place of divine power. We came here to transform and become what we are. Every generation, after meeting their soul mate, comes here to transition...," he continued to explain.
 "Why do we have to do this though? What's wrong with our normal selves?" I frowned.

"Sweetheart, it has to happen sooner or later. If we don't do this now, you won't be able to control your powers when you are older. We are in our second decade of life, meaning if we don't transform now, we won't be able to stay in this form because the powers within will control us," he said.
 "Do you understand?" he asked me.

"I guess... but will it be painful?" I trembled.
 "I doubt it will, my parents and your parents claim it's painless," he said with confidence.

"Completely painless?" I asked.
 "Plus, I am here! You aren't alone in this, okay?" he reassured me.

 "Come on hunny, smile! You are fine! I won't leave you, okay?" he tried to reassure me again.

"I guess...," I replied.
 "What's wrong, baby?" he asked me.

"I just can't get this feeling of fear out of my head. It's like my body is warning me or something," I tried to explain.
 "An overwhelming feeling of fear, so intense that I can't move or figure out what to say. Why do I feel this way?" I said with a frown and began to cry.

"Don't cry, please? I promise you, I won't leave your side and you shall be okay!" Flynn begged.
 "Okay, I trust you, I won't cry," I said as I wiped my eyes dry.

 He stared deeply into my aqua colored eyes and smiled. His smile was so genuine. It was strange...
I loved him so much, but since being with Damion, I had a hard time completely loving him nor did I completely trust him. I mean, he never did a single thing wrong, he was always, always there for me. I never could have asked for a better husband. I just couldn't get myself to get rid of the feelings from the past, no matter how hard I tried.
 Maybe this time with him, alone, will help me forget the things in the past. I prayed so hard that I would be able to finally be free of those rotten feelings that did me no good.
 I began to feel sad and I felt my mouth turn into a frown. I wish that I could smile once again, smile like Flynn does when he looks at me.
 Just then, Flynn rubbed his hand on my cheek. He said, "Darling, don't be sad, smile. I love you."

 His touch was so warm and comforting. I loved him so much... but how exactly did he feel about me? I couldn't ever feel his heart... it was as if he was blocking me from reading him. I could read Damion's heart, even my own parents, but not my own husband?
 "I love you too," I said with a smile as he grasped my head, gently, and pulled me toward his mouth.

 I turned my face away from him as I started to feel strange inside. I felt my stomach gurgle and a sudden rush of intense pain rushed over my chest. Flynn saw my face expression quickly change and he asked, "What's wrong? What happened?" I couldn't breathe.
 I stared into his eyes as I felt my body stiffen for a moment and my head throbbed with pain.
 My face became frozen in a strange expression and I lost track of where I was.

Suddenly my head felt like it was going to explode and everything went into a blur. I grasped my head as I screamed in pain...