When Will He Decide?

Through out the times in my life where I have been betrayed by the

man who took me into his home and being lied to by the only person I trusted,

I had come to the realization that it was all up to me what my life was going to be like.

After learning about the truth from Damion's dreams, I decided to accept

that he was afraid to admit to such a terrible event, but I knew that I had to

protect my heart from more pain. The consequences of staying beside him were

evidently just going cause more pain, however, I had nothing else to lose.

When a lonely soul has no where to go, sometimes it has to decide to 

endure the worst in order to secure a better future, whether it be for them or not.

Damion was not proud of himself and he was not sure of if he was even

supposed to be there on Earth. He felt as if his existence was useless with

out me, but he did not know how to truly love someone or care for someone

as he never was cared for by anyone. He never had a mother nor a true father.

When his father's fate was met, Damion knew he had removed at least

one or two evils in the world, but he was afraid that something even worse

was going to happen because of this. He had doomed his own life.

In the dream I had where I saw Damion with my child, I saw a pain in

his eyes that I had never seen before. His eyes had turned red from the sickness

that had taken over his face. He was pale and full of fear. I had never seen him this way.

It wasn't until many months later that I finally connected the dots of his

father's death and his future self. By killing, he doomed his own health and

existence. Why would someone do this? It all depends... 

but in his case, he did it for me...

Why?

For my future...

He knew more than he could ever tell me. He was afraid to speak the words

of truth as they would just bring forth the consequences of his actions and 

force him to realize what he was fated to become. He did not want to face the future.

When I was 18 years old, I suffered night and day from the pain of loneliness

and heartbreak. As always, I lived alone in the back woods, hoping that someone

would find me. I waited for either my soul mate or the one I fell in love with.

It was difficult life to live, but I did my best to keep myself together as I awaited my knight in shining armor.

One night when the moon rose over the mountain peak, a tall dark figure

arose from below a distant hill. I watched carefully as the shadows came closer.

I felt the presence of the figure; it was so familiar, I knew who it was.

With open arms and an aching heart, I welcomed Damion back into my life.

I knew he came back for me even though he was uncertain of what to say.

I grasped him close to me as he kissed my forehead.

He whispered to me, "Darling, I am here for now. 

I am sorry that it is this way, but I know you know why."

I just stood still in his arms as he slowly breathed against my cheek.

The breeze blew gently against my hair as the night grew darker.

I gazed into his eyes and my eyes began to glow. Suddenly I was drawn

into him and felt his sadness, happiness, and anxiety. I felt as if he knew

I was there and welcomed me into his mind. He wanted me, he loved me,

but he couldn't figure out how to take the relationship one step forward.

He was caught in a tangle of thoughts and desires.

I stood still, continuing to gaze into his eyes.

I knew he would figure it out soon.

I just waited.

I knew it was worth while...

Somehow he would figure out if he wanted to stay 

with me or go on his way and never come back...

I still waited for my knight in shining armor...

I knew that Damion could only provide so much.

He was unreliable, but he did love me, so I stayed with him.

My soul mate was awaiting me in my dreams though... 

He was the only one who truly kept me alive...

Not All That IS Right IS All Good

Later on that month, Damion was seeking shelter away from his home

in an alleyway beside a dumpster. He was very happy about not having to worry

about his responsibilities or his life for a night or two. He had a tendency to

escape from the consequences of his actions by hiding away, but he did not show it.

He was enjoying the peaceful evening and breathing in the silence as he

was about to sit down and eventually go to sleep for the evening.

Suddenly he felt lightheaded and dizzy. He was overwhelmed by a sudden

and severe headache that lashed over him like a thunderbolt. 

He was barely able to contain his pain and staggered to the nearest brick wall.

The pain increased. It intensified quickly and caused him to stumble

around in the dark, in confusion. He cried out loud before he began to lose consciousness.

He collapsed on the ground where he had laid a blanket down on the ground.

He passed out from all the pain inside his head, unaware of what had happened.

Meanwhile, deep inside someplace that was as pitch black as the depths of space,

I was consumed by a bright blue glowing light that swayed in the darkness

like a sea anemone in the farthest part of the ocean's abyss.

I had captured the speck of light I had found in myself.

The part of me that controlled my ability.

I inspected it carefully.

And began to learn...

I entered into Damion's dreams and thoughts.

I peered inside and saw into his memories...

Damion's father, Daron came into view from a secret door that

led into an underground black and gray concrete room.

The bright lit room was a laboratory filled with the strangest technology

and gadgets anyone had ever laid their eyes on. Computers and lights,

television screens, and giant glass jars were spread out around on the cement floor.

Daron put on a strange device over his eyes that appeared to be some

sort of goggle or headgear. Upon placing the device on his eyes, he

began to float in the air as if he was suddenly lighter than gravity.

He eventually settled down in an office chair and leaned back and began to think.

One evening when Damion was in Senior High School, he followed his

father into the basement of the old building. He had seen his father go here

once before and he memorized the code used to enter the elevator.

He tapped the numbers into the keypad and rode the elevator to the second floor.

As the door to the elevator opened, Daron freaked out and a strange

woman in yellow and a tall green skinned boy stood in their tracks with fear.

The woman was an alien. The boy was her son.

She knew it would only be a short time before

she would be found and her child be taken away.

She didn't know what to do and Daron was clueless as well.

The woman was sick and growing weaker with the days because she couldn't find a cure.

She once had the same green skin as her son and health in her eyes, but as time went on,

she slowly began to die. Her suit was to keep her alive, however, Daron had failed to get

her outfit to work completely and she was about to lose her life to a tragic infection that stained her eyes.

Damion stared into his father's panicked eyes and thought for a moment.

He took out a wireless device from his pocket and looked at the glowing

blue screen before scrolling down through a list of items.

He paused for a moment as he took one last look into his father's eyes.

And then as he took one more breath, the button was clicked and ...

It was all over...

Damion was never the same.

He had done what he felt was right.

He wishes he hadn't had to kill his father...

But sometimes...

We do things...

We aren't proud of...

However...

Not all things that are right...

have good consequences.

Lies Hurt More Than The Truth

Once more I find myself remembering my teenage years where I spent my

time wondering when I would ever be truly happy. I remember how alone I was...

When Damion left me there standing underneath an old construction site,

my heart was racing from all the fears of being alone and feeling unwanted.

The person I trusted had lied to my face so many times, I could not bare to

think of what lied beneath it all. I wanted to just be happy.

I wrote to him another night and left it for him in the junkyard.

I knew he would be there soon enough
 as he regularly visited there to get away for awhile.
He had seen my note as I had wished.

I waited for a few days until he finally showed up

 at the back of the building that I mentioned.

The afternoon that he came to meet me, I stood still with anxiety.

Thoughts raced through my head as his footsteps grew louder and he 

slowly approached me as the light began to fade.

I turned to him as he looked down upon the ground and took a deep breath.

His eyes looked heavy as if filled with guilt or shame. He knew what I had to say.

I had told him the reason why I needed to see him and he was as nervous as a firefly in the rain.

I couldn't come up with anything, but harsh words, so I held my tongue.

I leered at him and waited for him to get the hint that I was very angry with him.

He finally got my hint and said, "Jovi, I am sorry. 

I know I have angered you. I haven't been completely honest with you either. 

I just don't know if the truth is the best thing to tell you right now. 

But you have requested that I start telling you what I know, so I will."

"Okay, so what have you been doing lately? Who is after me?" I asked him.

"Yes,  I know. They are an agency. People who are called Kanis," he replied.

"Okay and what are they? What do they specialize in?" I pushed him to answer further.

"Um, well, they say they work with technology and want to change the path of the future," he said.

Suddenly I looked away. I felt my eyes begin to glow and I felt that tingling

sensation across my body once more. There was a difference in the experience this time.

I could see he was only telling half of the information he knew and I was given insight into 

what this Kanis group was about and who was after me and why. I could not explain it.

How I knew about this I could not say, but my ability was advancing...

Damion continued to speak, "Joviana, your glowing eyes. I know about that as well."

"Oh you do? So tell me about it," I said to him as I looked into his eyes with curiosity.

"You are a human not of this Earth. You have the ability to tell what is happening when

and before it happens. Do you know anything about yourself?" he quietly asked me.

"Yea, of course I do," I replied.

"Oh, okay, I didn't know," he looked closer into my face.

"So does that help any?" he asked.

"Yea, I guess," I sighed as I stared toward the ground.

"Oh come on gal. I am trying here. I have so much more to tell you, but

I think it's best to take it a bit at a time. I don't want you to get frightened or

obsessed with finding out who you are and sacrificing your identity and whereabouts,"

he said with a confident smile as he tried to cheer me up.

I couldn't force him to tell me more than what he was comfortable with.

I just decided to hug him and let him go on his way for the evening.

He gave me one last look in the eyes and mouthed the words, "I love you."

As I turned away from him, my eyes glowed again and 

thoughts about how he was manipulating me filled my head,

but I kept my thoughts secret and headed back into the woods.

Later that night, he spent his time sitting by the dumpster where we met.

He was trying to write me a letter about what he wasn't able to tell me in person.

He struggled for awhile.

The evening moved on as he was trying to get the words right on the paper.

Finally he was able to get it down on the page.

He told me some of what he knew about his father.

"Dear Jovi,

I am sorry that I didn't tell you this is person, but what I really

wanted to say is that my father was a very secretive man and when I was young

he mentioned something about his secrets to me."

"He told me when I was about eleven years old that he was going to pass along his

business to me some day and that I was to keep it all a secret. He said he had a laboratory

below an old building. If I told anyone about it, he said I would be severely punished.

I was very frightened of him at that point in my life."

"One night, when I was in my teen years and when you were gone away from me,

I followed my father into this mysterious old building in the woods near the back of town.

He was alone and I followed as far behind as I could."

"When I finally caught up to where he had entered into the building,

I saw that he had taken an elevator downstairs. I was filled with fear

and became apprehensive about the whole idea, but I decided to go downstairs."

"When I got out of the elevator, my father was not in sight. I was relieved, but only for a moment...

And then I saw this strange woman with the palest skin I have ever seen. Her eyes glowed a pale yellow. She had bright yellow hair and a strange suit made of tubes and wires that was also yellow.

 I saw a strange pattern on her face that appeared to be that of lightening bolts. I don't know what

more to say of her, but that is what I have seen. I hope you well, see you soon, as always, 

yours,

Damion."

That evening I was exhausted and decided to just go to sleep for the night.

I sat down on a log where I had made my home for awhile.

And as I drifted off to sleep, I started to have a dream...

In the dream, I saw myself and the guy of my dreams.

I was screaming.

He was aiming a gun at someone...

A young boy was in the arms of a man with black hair and a black suit.

"DON'T HURT HIM!" I heard myself scream.

The expression on my face was one that I have never seen before.

I could feel the fear of myself and the terror in my eyes.

That man must have had my child, but why and what was he going to do?

The dream zoomed out.

The angle changed...

I was cowering behind my man as the guy in black sheltered the young boy

in his arms. The scene was growing more and more intense as the night moved on.

It was like slow motion...

As I looked closer in the dream, I saw the man in black even more than before.

It was a familiar face, one who I knew quite well, it was Damion...

He was protecting the same young boy that I had seen in a dream 

a few months before. It was so strange. Damion with red flowing from his eyes

and his expression was completely terrified.

However, I didn't understand why I was yelling at Damion to not hurt the boy.

Why I was with the guy of my dreams and not Damion?

I felt as if Damion had taken away something precious of mine.

I felt hurt. I must have been that boy's mother.

What else would have explained the panic I saw in my eyes?

The dreams kept getting more and more realistic...

Damion was right...

I knew about what happens now and in the future.

But what did the future have in store for me?

Was the same person that I had fallen in love with,

the same person who would betray me?

Will I ever find the one who is for me?
The one who won't leave me?