The Misery of Loneliness

About a year later, I was about seventeen years old and still living on the streets,

in the woods, and wherever I could stay hidden. I have been scrounging around for clothing

and food ever since I had last seen Damion. Life was miserable for me, but I tried to stay alive.

I would sneak into the scrapyard at night when no one looking.

I had been having strange dreams and had an unusually strong urge to search

for something. I spent most of my time wandering around wondering why I felt that way.

I had finally learned how to use the ability I discovered I had, the reason my eyes glowed.

I could see and feel the emotions and memories left on items of any size and orientation.

It was a strange gift, but I had only learned part of the gift I had.

Most nights I spent alone and I had no friends or family, so I just wrote letters to 

Damion, but I doubted that he would ever read them.

I remember what I wrote to him one night...

Dear Damion, 

I miss you with all my heart. You are the only person in my life and I don't

know what I would do without you... but why haven't you come back for me? I can't

keep living in such loneliness. I can't describe the feelings I have, but I need you.

I miss you. I love you. I am just so alone and without a home or friends or family.

I know I never had it to begin with. I just wish I had it now. The loneliness engulfs me

and causes me such pain. WHY do I have to have this pain? What did I ever do to deserve it?

As always, I am here, waiting for you... Come soon. Please? I will be waiting in the back woods.

-Jovi-

I was in so much pain because the loneliness was just too much at that point in time.

I was not enjoying life at all, but who could blame me? I was so tired of being

the only one who had no place or reason for existing. I felt that way! Damion was

off doing whatever and seemed to be pretty healthy and doing just fine. I was slightly upset with him

because he left me alone! I couldn't stop thinking about how unfair it was! 

However, I had to stop the thoughts in my head from repeating themselves 

like broken records and try to focus on something else. I tried my best, but

the only thing I could think of was to just stay alive and wait for something to happen.

It was depressing to think that my life had turned into fight to survive...

About a week later...

I had spent the night in an abandoned construction site where I had slept

in a sleeping bag on crunchy dead grass. As I was awaking up to the bright

sunlight, I felt a tingling sensation across my body and I felt that someone was coming.

I got out of the sleeping bag and waiting over beside a rusted metal pole.

I just stood there and watched the shadows dance across the ground as

time passed by.

With my luck, Damion showed up. Instead of being surprised, I was glad that my instincts were correct.

He greeted me with one hand behind his back.

He asked me if I wanted a surprise, not that

his initial visit was to be one anyway, but I smiled and said yes. 

He handed me beautiful creamy yellow roses in a white bound bouquet.

I smelled them as he asked me if I liked them. I set them down on the grass

and looked up toward him before I said anything, I gazed into his eyes.

I grabbed his hands and held them softly as I said, "You got my letter then?"

"Yes hun, I got your letter. I am so sorry I haven't barely shown up. I have been busy," he said.

"With what? You have a job? You are in school?" I asked him with a concerned face.

"I have been trying to find you a place to live," he said. I knew he was lying.

"Really? So why haven't I gotten a place to live yet? It's been almost two years," I asked him.

"Um, I can't explain," he said trying to back out of the question.

"WHAT do you mean you can't explain? EXPLAIN what?" I stopped holding his hands

and cried out, "What has been going on? YOU promised to tell me something last time!"

"Oh babe. I guess I owe you some explanations," he said as he looked toward the ground in shame.

"I know all about who you are and where you came from.

You are someone from somewhere not here, you are not normal. I know

you have an ability, your people have the same that you have. I can't explain

what any of this means. I just know what I have seen and been told.

I do know that you were stolen from your family and that Daron was an evil man," he explained.

He grasped my shoulder and held me close to him as he stared into my eyes.

"What do you mean he was an evil man? Is he dead?" I asked him.

"Yes, he is no longer here. Be thankful, at least one person is no longer after you," he replied.

"You mean it's not just him that's after me?!" I shouted began to become worried and pushed him away.

"CALM down! You are safe as long as you are not in the city or town," he exclaimed.

"This isn't fair! WHY do I have to be so special? I just wanted a normal life!" I started to cry.

He quickly grabbed me and kissed me before anymore tears could stream

down my face. He did not let go of me no matter how hard I desired to try.

He was determined to keep me calm.

Once I had calmed down, he caressed my face and told me farewell.

He was ashamed to have to tell me good-bye again, but I knew that he had to.

I didn't want him to go because he hadn't given me all the reasons of why

I am not with him or why people are after me...

He turned around and walked away.

I watched as he walked away. I was alone again and it was only 

moments before that realization actually hit me once again...

I began to sob uncontrollably; I couldn't hold myself together.

Why was I always alone?

I still couldn't believe I let him walk off without explaining everything.

I knew he was lying to protect me, but he left me with nothing except questions.

He was destroying my heart with his inability to directly face me with the truth.

He knew he is hurting me more by not telling me yet nothing is stopping him.

I felt like I was destined to just be there ALONE until he showed up again...

Was I always gonna be alone?

Who was after me?
Why couldn't I get answers?

OHH the misery of being alone...

A fate I wish I had never had...

What Will Be The Future of This Forgotten Soul?

Nothing had come of my life since I last saw Damion, which had been about

six months before my 16th birthday. I was now almost grown up and still alone.

I had nothing in my life, except loneliness and tears.

I cried all day and all night. I had a permanent make up stain on my face

because I had lived in that wooded field outside of town since then and only have had

the rain to wash the dirt off my skin. I didn't care. I had no cares in the world at that moment.

I lived on the land and ate the vegetation available, even though I knew I was far too skinny to be healthy.

The only thing I was really thinking about was my past and if I was ever going

to see Damion again or if I would just waste away here in this field.

Everything seemed so dim in life and I was growing more lonely by the day.

One day, as I was wiping away the tears, after crying almost the entire day,

I started to feel something strange happening. A familiar feeling embraced my body

as a tingling sensation overwhelmed my skin and I felt as if all the fears just went away.

I could feel my eyes begin to glow and the whole world disappeared in a flash

of blue light and I was thrown into an unfamiliar realm of subconsciousness as if I was dreaming...

I saw a woman... 

 A strange pale green woman with bright yellow-orange hair and a matching suit

that had wires and tubes wrapped around her entire body. She was standing

in front of an unusual machine with a keypad located in a room filled with tons of electronic devices.

Who was she?!

An alien?

A woman from the future?

As quickly as the image of the woman came, I saw two children holding

hands as they walked together late at night.

The boy had hair as dark as night with tips that were firey red and orange.

The girl, who looked to be his sister, had brilliant purple eyes and bright

fuchsia hair ending in deep blue violet highlights at the tips of her hair.

These children seemed familiar, but the vision was far too brief to be able to tell.

Suddenly, I saw myself...

My eyes were glazed over with distraction as the guy from my dreams held me close

and kept his eyes fully focused on my saddened face.

And within moments, the vision expanded and I saw who I thought had to be

Damion, standing in front of the house where we stood. 

The moment seemed intense and I became worried from the sight of this.

It appeared that I was destined to meet the guy of my dreams, but

it was not meant to be simple for me as I was between two lovers in this vision.

I sat down as I became aware of my surroundings once more and 

stepped out of the vision. I had no idea what lay ahead for me in my life.

I knew I had a future, but it seemed challenging and confusing.

Children, lovers, strange visitors; what did it all mean?

I envisioned the guy from my dreams once more as I struggled to stay

awake in the late of night. I kept my mind on him that evening and tried to drift off to sleep.

I knew I loved him, but when, how, why?

Question upon question kept me awake.

I eventually fell asleep on an old tree log as the candle flickered in the quiet midnight air...

dreaming of what as to come...

and who I was meant to be with...

and what my future held in store for me...

Once Again...

One night, it was around bedtime for everyone and

I was having a hard time enjoying life with all the dreams

and memories that clouded my sense of direction in life.

I did not know if I was to keep trying to make do there

or to escape and try to live on my own.

I spent the days sobbing and crying whenever I even took a moment

to think about the guy in my dreams or Damion.

My life was consumed by the thoughts of them.

I tried to hold myself together as Jennifer and Aimee watched me

once again crying my eyes out. I wiped my tears from my face and

took a deep breath.

As I stopped crying, Aimee started to laugh at me.

"Oh you poor whiny baby! You never stop crying! Why don't you

just get into your little bunk bed and go to sleep, crybaby!" Aimee said mockingly.

I began to get angry with her and as I clinched my fist

she cowered in fear with her hands up in her face trying to protect herself.

For some reason, she decided to get me to attack her and

started raising her hand in a cat-claw like action.

I was done with her dilly-dallying and wanted that girl gone!

She just laughed at me as I grew angrier.

She then slapped me!

"THAT'S IT!" I yelled!

We started fighting and dragging each other down to the ground

whenever one of us attempted to get off the floor.

In the end, I won the fight and beat her senseless. I was proud of myself. 

She couldn't get off the ground for at least five minutes.

At that moment, I decided it was time to leave.

I ran away...

I trudged down the stairs and out the front door,

only to find a piece of paper that read:

"I am where we agreed, come find me,

I miss you."

I couldn't believe it. What in the world brought this on?

I had been waiting for about four years to find this

kind of note! I was happy, but a bit upset because of

how long I had to wait. I felt myself changing and my eyes started

to glow as I began to walk away from the horrible situation I had been in.

I FINALLY was free!

I followed my instincts and wound up in an empty lot about a mile down the road with shrub bushes.

As I kept walking, I noticed a glowing light that seemed to be reflecting off of something.

I kept walking closer. The closer I got, the more I realized someone was waiting there...

To my surprise, I saw him...

My heart started racing as I stared at the young man

sitting on a log with only the light of the candle beside him

illuminating the area where he was. He just smiled at me.

He stood up and came over to me as I stared in shock.

He took my hand and gazed into my eyes.

"I have been waiting for you, darling," he said before turning around.

He walked over to the small pond nearby.

I stood there for a moment before joining him.

"Damion, it's been too long," I said with a grin.

He grabbed me and pulled me close as he quickly pushed his

lips to mine and kissed me deeply; we shared our first kiss.

I had expected a feeling unlike that I have ever had, but

unfortunately, nothing extraordinary happened...

However, I wish that feeling between us had lasted forever...

He gazed into my eyes with his brilliant deep green eyes

and amazing smile. He stroked my cheek and then stepped back.

He began to speak to me, "I need to say something."

"Okay, what is it?" I replied.

"I am sorry it took so long, but I had to protect you, it was my only choice. Daron is a horrible man. 

If I hadn't contacted the head of the facility where you stayed, you would have been killed

or tortured. It's complicated and I will tell you more later, but you are safe now," he said in honesty.

"I guess I can accept that, but you owe me an explanation

because this is just too weird for me. Torture? Killing? What?!

But right now, I am free and I just want to be with you! Can we do that?" I asked.

"Sure!" he replied.

My desire at that moment was to spend time with him and

not focus on the past four years that I have been without him.

We sat down as the sun began to rise.

He put his hand on mine and stared into my eyes.

I gave him a big grin and he gave me an air kiss.

He scooted closer to me and we leaned back to watch the sun

rise in the early morning mist.

"I love you still Damion!" I whispered to him.

He just giggled at me and kissed me on the lips.

It was almost dawn and Damion mentioned he had to leave soon.

I remember standing there as he whispered in my ear and

told me to stay strong. The moment seemed to last forever...

He grasped me one last time before he kissed me and

twirled me around in his arms.

He hugged me tightly. At that moment, my eyes started to glow 

again and I felt the sadness in his heart as he took a deep sigh.

I watched as he ran off into the distance...

I was letting the love of my life leave me again...

As soon as he was gone and no longer in view,

I broke down into tears.

Why does this happen to me?

Why can't I ever be happy for more than a moment?

I couldn't grasp this feeling, but I was heartbroken...

Was I ever going to see him again?
Where was I going to live?

For the moment, I could only bask in my sorrow

as the only person I could trust had left my side once again.