The Misery of Loneliness

About a year later, I was about seventeen years old and still living on the streets,

in the woods, and wherever I could stay hidden. I have been scrounging around for clothing

and food ever since I had last seen Damion. Life was miserable for me, but I tried to stay alive.

I would sneak into the scrapyard at night when no one looking.

I had been having strange dreams and had an unusually strong urge to search

for something. I spent most of my time wandering around wondering why I felt that way.

I had finally learned how to use the ability I discovered I had, the reason my eyes glowed.

I could see and feel the emotions and memories left on items of any size and orientation.

It was a strange gift, but I had only learned part of the gift I had.

Most nights I spent alone and I had no friends or family, so I just wrote letters to 

Damion, but I doubted that he would ever read them.

I remember what I wrote to him one night...

Dear Damion, 

I miss you with all my heart. You are the only person in my life and I don't

know what I would do without you... but why haven't you come back for me? I can't

keep living in such loneliness. I can't describe the feelings I have, but I need you.

I miss you. I love you. I am just so alone and without a home or friends or family.

I know I never had it to begin with. I just wish I had it now. The loneliness engulfs me

and causes me such pain. WHY do I have to have this pain? What did I ever do to deserve it?

As always, I am here, waiting for you... Come soon. Please? I will be waiting in the back woods.

-Jovi-

I was in so much pain because the loneliness was just too much at that point in time.

I was not enjoying life at all, but who could blame me? I was so tired of being

the only one who had no place or reason for existing. I felt that way! Damion was

off doing whatever and seemed to be pretty healthy and doing just fine. I was slightly upset with him

because he left me alone! I couldn't stop thinking about how unfair it was! 

However, I had to stop the thoughts in my head from repeating themselves 

like broken records and try to focus on something else. I tried my best, but

the only thing I could think of was to just stay alive and wait for something to happen.

It was depressing to think that my life had turned into fight to survive...

About a week later...

I had spent the night in an abandoned construction site where I had slept

in a sleeping bag on crunchy dead grass. As I was awaking up to the bright

sunlight, I felt a tingling sensation across my body and I felt that someone was coming.

I got out of the sleeping bag and waiting over beside a rusted metal pole.

I just stood there and watched the shadows dance across the ground as

time passed by.

With my luck, Damion showed up. Instead of being surprised, I was glad that my instincts were correct.

He greeted me with one hand behind his back.

He asked me if I wanted a surprise, not that

his initial visit was to be one anyway, but I smiled and said yes. 

He handed me beautiful creamy yellow roses in a white bound bouquet.

I smelled them as he asked me if I liked them. I set them down on the grass

and looked up toward him before I said anything, I gazed into his eyes.

I grabbed his hands and held them softly as I said, "You got my letter then?"

"Yes hun, I got your letter. I am so sorry I haven't barely shown up. I have been busy," he said.

"With what? You have a job? You are in school?" I asked him with a concerned face.

"I have been trying to find you a place to live," he said. I knew he was lying.

"Really? So why haven't I gotten a place to live yet? It's been almost two years," I asked him.

"Um, I can't explain," he said trying to back out of the question.

"WHAT do you mean you can't explain? EXPLAIN what?" I stopped holding his hands

and cried out, "What has been going on? YOU promised to tell me something last time!"

"Oh babe. I guess I owe you some explanations," he said as he looked toward the ground in shame.

"I know all about who you are and where you came from.

You are someone from somewhere not here, you are not normal. I know

you have an ability, your people have the same that you have. I can't explain

what any of this means. I just know what I have seen and been told.

I do know that you were stolen from your family and that Daron was an evil man," he explained.

He grasped my shoulder and held me close to him as he stared into my eyes.

"What do you mean he was an evil man? Is he dead?" I asked him.

"Yes, he is no longer here. Be thankful, at least one person is no longer after you," he replied.

"You mean it's not just him that's after me?!" I shouted began to become worried and pushed him away.

"CALM down! You are safe as long as you are not in the city or town," he exclaimed.

"This isn't fair! WHY do I have to be so special? I just wanted a normal life!" I started to cry.

He quickly grabbed me and kissed me before anymore tears could stream

down my face. He did not let go of me no matter how hard I desired to try.

He was determined to keep me calm.

Once I had calmed down, he caressed my face and told me farewell.

He was ashamed to have to tell me good-bye again, but I knew that he had to.

I didn't want him to go because he hadn't given me all the reasons of why

I am not with him or why people are after me...

He turned around and walked away.

I watched as he walked away. I was alone again and it was only 

moments before that realization actually hit me once again...

I began to sob uncontrollably; I couldn't hold myself together.

Why was I always alone?

I still couldn't believe I let him walk off without explaining everything.

I knew he was lying to protect me, but he left me with nothing except questions.

He was destroying my heart with his inability to directly face me with the truth.

He knew he is hurting me more by not telling me yet nothing is stopping him.

I felt like I was destined to just be there ALONE until he showed up again...

Was I always gonna be alone?

Who was after me?
Why couldn't I get answers?

OHH the misery of being alone...

A fate I wish I had never had...